I need to make a change in my life somewhere… maybe everywhere. I mean, sure I’m almost comfortable (I’ve come to the conclusion it’s unlikely I will ever be truly comfortable), but just because something is comfortable doesn’t mean it’s a long term solution. Professionally, I’m in a good place, and I’m making a decent living.
I guess maybe it’s my personal life that needs something to change. Maybe it’s just me who needs changing. Speak my mind a little more, and see what it does for me. Something has to give sooner or later, and I have a feeling it will be sooner, not later. I’m not adequately prepared for what is in store, I don’t think. I should work on that.
Professionally, I feel like I’ve hit a wall. I realize that it’s mostly my apathy that’s doing it. I was once untouchable and the front runner for everything that could be coming on the horizon of the company. Then, somewhere my duties changed and weren’t explained as clearly as I’d like… and I lost a step. I didn’t feel like I needed to get that step back. Now, even though I know I need to get things rolling again… I can’t bring myself to do it. Doesn’t help that I have no loyalty to any of my co-workers, in fact the only reason I feel I need to stay is because I feel like I owe the owner of the company something.
Maybe I just need a hobby, and once I get caught up in my classes I think I’ll work on finding a hobby. I need something, because I know there’s more to this life… I just haven’t found it yet.