Weird…

You know I get called weird pretty frequently. I have been getting called weird for almost as long as I can remember. There was a time that I agreed, and on some level I wanted to be what they call normal. Maybe it was just that desire to fit in that everyone feels at one point or another, but I wanted to be normal. As I got older, being normal didn’t seem like such a big deal to me. In fact, I started embracing my weirdness even exaggerating it, as anyone who went to high school with me during my senior year can attest. I liked the attention, although I realize now that a good portion of it wasn’t really meant to make me feel good. I’m sure I got mocked a lot, behind my back and to a lesser extent to my face. I learned to deal with it. I think it made me a better man than I would have been without that.

I’ve been thinking a lot about my perceived weirdness, and you know it’s fine if people think I’m weird. Personally though, I’ve stopped subscribing to the theory of normal. Normal is what you make it, and ultimately what is normal for you isn’t going to be normal for everyone else. In some parts of the world there are children being shot at on a daily basis, that’s normal for them… for me it’s weird. Normal is really just the things we can control and do so consistently. Anything beyond that is weird, but if things weren’t weird on occasion we’d never grow. We’d never change. We’d stagnate and become boring, the last thing I want anyone to think about me is that I’m boring. Really, I wear my supposed weirdness as a badge of honor. A badge that says, I’m not like you but I’m okay with it.

Still, there are moments I wonder if my life had been better if I had become ‘normal’. I mean, would I now being sitting in a different office, making a six figure income, and thinking about which luxury car to buy and who would fly my private helicopter? I doubt it, but who knows, maybe I’d have applied myself more in school, maybe even made a proper attempt at trying out for the football team, who knows I could have been in the midst of a great playing career as a Linebacker or a backup running back in the NFL. I guess I’m thinking less about my weirdness itself and more about how it’s affected my life. I’m sure there are people out there who’ve accepted my weirdness as much as I have and they wouldn’t have me in their lives any other way. I’m sure there are others who would have preferred if I were more normal and maybe I’d play a bigger part in their life than I do.

I know that a lot of the choices I’ve made got me to where I am now. I don’t regret what I’ve done, my life has turned out better than most. I mean, when your biggest problem is figuring out how to lose weight because you’ve had plenty to eat in your life… well, that’s a problem that people in other parts of the country and world would kill to have. I’m a lucky man, a lucky man who has good friends, a great job, and a girl who loves him most of the time. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Your song of the day today is “Give Up the Grudge” by Gob.

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About SteelCitySaint

I tried to stop me, but I'm too fantastic. Feel free to take a look at my blog and leave a comment on whatever it is I'm writing about.

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