Today is Thursday, it’s about 15 minutes before 8:00 am. I’m thinking a lot this morning, I’ve been trying to be a better person. Not to say I thought I was a monster or anything, but like most people (maybe all people) I had things I wanted to change about myself. Some of them physical, some of them mental, and some emotional. I’ve been working on all three aspects at once, thinking maybe as some of the changes caught on everything else would start to fall into place. I’ve been trying to apply the changes emotional and mental to the workplace, where I ultimately spend most of my waking hours. I spend about 50 hours a week at work, another 10 at school, and the rest either at home, or taking care of things that need to be acquired for home. I thought it was a good plan.
Yesterday though, I fell off the wagon, as it were. I was a pretty miserable person, I chalked it up to being tired or perhaps coming down with a cold. It also didn’t help that I was feeling under-appreciated by people I have been helping out. I don’t need to be verbally fellated or anything like that, but a thank you would be nice. I guess I shouldn’t be like that, but a little recognition is all I really ask for. Still, that kind of spilled over into my work life and into my school life. I was a little rude to some of my classmates after class. That’s bothering me a little bit. I realize I can’t change the past, I just have to work in the present to correct the issues so they don’t happen in the future.
Today, I’m feeling better than I did yesterday. I’m working on not taking annoyances and turning them into anger. I am trying my best to take annoyances and use that annoyance to turn it into fuel to accomplish positive things. If I can start using annoyance to fuel positive results, then I build positive energy within myself. That positive energy will reflect well on me and in theory should make me a better person. Still, I have a long way to go in becoming the kind of man I want to be. I need to start holding myself to a higher standard than what I hold everyone else. I’m not everyone else, I can’t control their actions nor their thoughts. I can control myself, and I need to do that. I have to build myself into a paragon, if only because that’s what I want to be.
Physically, I’ve worked out all three working morning this week. I haven’t seen any weight loss from the starting weight I was at, but I’m feeling better. The jolt of energy in the morning is really helpful in maintaining a positive base of energy throughout the course of a day. I feel like with my work outs and soon to be started body shaping treatments, I’ll be a svelte man in a pretty short time. I like that I can still feel some of the effects of my work out throughout the day physically. I stretch and I can feel a little bit of a pull in my chest and stomach areas, that means my body is still working. If I can get more active during the day, that will increase the effectiveness of everything I’m doing. I do a few more laps with customers around the slab yard, that’s extra cardio work which will help burn calories.
Along with my work outs, I’ve also been making an effort to reduce the calories I’m taking in. I’ve been making sure to eat breakfast, instead of drinking a lot of soda throughout the day, I’ve been drinking at least 8 glasses of water. Not so much because I feel 8 is enough, but because I get thirsty a lot during the course of the day. I still get the hydration, but without all the sugar and caffeine of soda. At this point I’m drinking 2 cans of soda a day, one non caffeinated and one caffeinated. I usually save the caffeinated soda until before I leave work for class. Gives me a little boost so I’m not completely drained in class. Drained people don’t learn as easily as those who are awake and ‘with it’.
Speaking of class, I think the college experience at Stevens Henager has really helped me as a person. Two of my first three classes have dealt with psychology of motivation as well as interpersonal communication. While I don’t feel I struggle with interpersonal communication, it’s nice to get a better insight as to what sort of things cause me to communicate as I do. The psychology of motivation course really has helped me learn to self diagnose my issues. As well as give some ideas on how to change myself for the better. I really think once I get really rolling in the right direction things will start to snowball and I’ll be an unstoppable ball of awesomeness. Okay, maybe not awesomeness but definitely something positive. I’m working hard to improve myself, by the time I graduate I hope to be a trim, confident, and intelligent man with skills in various disciplines of graphic arts. I know I have the potential, now I have to turn the potential into success.