Fulfillment… or Lack Thereof

It’s a Thursday, and as far as Thursday’s go, it’s been fine. Nothing too exciting, but it could be worse. It’s given me plenty of time to think about some of the things that went down yesterday, as well as thinking about the future. As some may know, I had an interview yesterday with a company called ClearLink, it seems like a decent company but I’m not sure that it’s the kind of company I want to work for. I was interviewed for a telesales position, which means I’d be on the phone all day. It’s something I’ve done before, and I’d like to think I did pretty well at it, but for the pay they’re offering even if they offer me the position I don’t think I’m going to take it. I also got some information about a contract position that would have me working for American Express, while the pay would be better than what I have going on right now, I would also be working fewer hours, so it’d balance out. Again it would be telesales, so there is that. I’m not so sure I actually want that position either.

One of my issues is that I’m not getting much in the way of fulfillment from my current position, and honestly I’m not sure if that would change if I went back to call center work. One of the reasons I left Teleperformance is because I wasn’t feeling fulfilled there. Which is leading me to wonder if maybe my problem wasn’t the work itself, but instead it was me. Maybe there’s something I need to be doing in my personal life to build my fulfillment level, and carry it over to work. I’m still kind of working through my feelings about what would leave me feeling fulfilled, but whatever it is I’m just not getting it right now, at least not from anything work related.

Ezio Auditore

A graphic built around Ezio Auditore from the Assassin's Creed series, I enjoy playing with Photoshop.

What is leaving me at least slightly fulfilled is my college coursework. I have two classes this module at Stevens-Henager College. One of which is American Civilization, which is a history class (obviously). I feel like I’ll be better prepared for later online classes (and I’m sure I’ll have some) by taking a relatively simple class online. While I don’t know if I’ll learn anything new from this class, I feel like additional study couldn’t hurt. My other class this module is Photoshop, and that’s been incredibly useful to me and we’re only about a quarter of the way through the class. I’ve picked up what Photoshop will be used for in the real world (at least most of it), meaning color correction and general photo improvement. I’ve started playing with Photoshop in my free time, a little bit and I feel like this is really good stuff I can use when I get into the working world as graphic designer.

The only other place I feel like I need to work on finding fulfillment is my social life, which really is non-existent at this point. I work 6 days a week, I go to class at least 2 nights a week (usually 4 nights a week), and right now moving has eaten into what little time I would have to actively pursue a social life. There are people I would like to spend time with, if only because they recharge me in a way. They are, of course, my classmates and I feel like I want to know them better. I think I have a pretty good idea of what most of them are about, at least the ones I’ve had more than one class with since starting school. There’s one who hasn’t given anything away about herself, well maybe that’s an exaggeration, but she certainly hasn’t given enough away for me to get a good read on her. I don’t know what to make of it, but sometimes I wonder if she’s the kind of person who might ‘get’ me. It’d be nice to make a friend out here who gets me.

That last paragraph isn’t meant as a slight on my fiancee. I love her, but sometimes I don’t think we’re on the same wavelength. I’m a little odd, I know this, and I’m okay with it. So sometimes, I will say something completely ridiculous and I’ll get some ribbing about it. It’s fine, I expect it… but sometimes it’d be nice to have a conversation with someone who gets it enough that I won’t get ribbed for it. I could always change myself to fit into a more ‘normal’ mode of thought, but really that wouldn’t do me any favors. I think it really boils down to spending time with a larger variety of people, so that my inherent oddness doesn’t invade my interactions with my fiancee so much. I could be wrong, but I don’t think I am.

Anyway, I have a lot on my mind, and midway through that last paragraph I got a call about another phone interview. Maybe that will help me get to where I want to go for the immediate future, either that or I need to get myself straight so I can get back to the excellence I once showed at work. Either way, I have to make it a win.


About SteelCitySaint

I tried to stop me, but I'm too fantastic. Feel free to take a look at my blog and leave a comment on whatever it is I'm writing about.

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