Taking Stock

Today is August 18, 2011. I had a good birthday, and that’s somewhat surprising to me. It’s been years since I had a really good birthday like this year’s. I think maybe it’s because I did what I felt would make me happiest, instead of trying to fit into what I ‘should’ be doing. Lunch at Tucanos, which is always delicious, the service was great and I’m looking forward to doing that again next year since I’m a part of the birthday club. Smoked a Man O War Virtue cigar, which was also very good. A milder cigar than what I typically smoke, but not boring. Later on in the evening got some ice cream at Cold Stone Creamery. It’s good to be a part of birthday clubs and such. I still have a few birthday coupons I could use, but the only two I feel I’m likely to use this year are for Del Taco and Baskin-Robbins. Although, I’m not even sure about those.

One thing I haven’t really done this year is take stock of where my life and kind of re-evaluate my goals, wants, needs, etc. I made it through my doldrums pretty easily this year, because for a change I had things I was looking forward to doing on my birthday. I didn’t receive many gifts from anyone, except from myself. Which is good, because I’m terrible at receiving gifts, I want to feel like I earn the things I receive, and I rarely feel like I’ve earned any gifts. Still, I need to take the time to consider where I am and where I want to go. So, let’s get to it.

Professionally, I’m unhappy and feeling unfulfilled. I like working with customers, but with the lack of customers here at work there’s no flow for me to get into. That tends to mean by the time customers do come in, I just want to be left alone to stew in my own juices. Still, I don’t do much and I get paid for it. That’s something a lot of people wish they could say. Regardless, my resume is out there and I am looking for new opportunities. Just yesterday I interviewed for a retail position at Apple. I’m really hoping I can net myself a job working there, but for some reason I don’t quite see it happening. Regardless, I’ve been taking the steps necessary to get myself into a career I think I would enjoy, Graphic Design. So, I’ll consider this a win.

Socially, I’m not completely sure how I feel about my current socialization level. There are a handful of people I trust with my life, but none of them here in Salt Lake City. I’d like to spend time with friends, because I need some socialization, of course, but since I’m not one to force friendship I’m really not sure what to do to make friends. Most of the friends I have came from spending time in work environments for a long time, then slowly branching into other aspects of life. I don’t really know if that’s going to happen with any of the people I consider to be just beyond acquaintances. Still, I’m not as obsessed with it as I was at earlier points in the year, so I’ll consider that a win.

Emotionally, I think I’m more balanced than at this point last year. I don’t seem to have as high of highs, or as low of lows. I’m learning to cope without bringing people down with me. Which is something that is probably very good. I still don’t open up as much as I should when things are bothering me. I don’t know if that will ever change, but since I have less need to open up with people… then maybe it’s not as much of a concern as it once was. Not sure if I’ll consider this a win… we’ll call it a draw.

Everything else is about where it was this time last year, and that’s okay by me. Financially I’m a little more stressed due to some added expenses. Still, things should be leveling out on that front in the near future so I can make some real changes to my financial life and turn it around. Right now, it’s a matter of handling the here and now so I can create a foundation for the future and build something worthwhile. Who knows if that is going to happen the way I hope it will, but something has to give and I need to get somewhere with my life. The sooner the better.

All in all I think I’ve moved forward in some areas, began the process of getting somewhere in others, and the ones that stayed the same… well, there’s still time to change those. Here’s hoping this next year will be a good one and I’ll have a few more tally marks in the win column this time next year. Have a great day everyone.

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About SteelCitySaint

I tried to stop me, but I'm too fantastic. Feel free to take a look at my blog and leave a comment on whatever it is I'm writing about.

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