I’ve been considering my professional situation, and I’ve come to the conclusion that a lot of my issues have come about because of me. I mean, the lack of leadership and lack of direction are not in my control, but my reaction to those things are in my control. I’ve done nothing but complain about it, and basically shut myself off at work. Which isn’t a good way to accomplish anything. Before our sales staff tripled, I was a dynamo. Handling sales, keeping customers and clients happy, and making sure the most important of tools were working as intended. Even though I still have no idea what my job description actually is, I know I have to step up my game. I have to actually get out and help customers coming into the showroom. I have to prove my worth again. I know this, and I know that it’s going to be discouraging at times, I also know if I can get my game back where it was… well, nothing will stop me from getting further in the company… at which point I may reconsider my 5 year plan and stick with Francini. So, goal #1 is become more professional and more active at work. While I know I’m a solidly professional individual, I haven’t had as many opportunities to show it. To achieve this goal, I have to regain my personal ‘center’ and discuss issues and concerns with management. Maybe nothing will come of the second part, but I know that if I don’t do anything about it, I’m part of the problem.
Now, part of being more professional is looking more professional. This means a few things, keeping myself well groomed, wearing nicer clothing, and generally keeping myself in good health. I’ve been very prone to calling out sick than I used to be. That’s not good for me, it’s not good for the company. So, I have to get back into the habit of working out. If I lose a lot of weight that’s great, but even if I just trim away fat and become more muscular that will help immensely. Muscle helps burn fat, so there is that. I also need to update and improve my wardrobe. Each week, I need to acquire a new piece of clothing. A button down shirt, dress pants, new undergarments, and shoes as needed. I also need to take a little more care in washing my clothing. Separating darks and lights, pre-treating stains, and generally washing them more gently. Maybe, gathering enough clothes for a couple weeks of work, instead of just one. Exercise will help those clothes fit better, which will also help keep those clothes looking good. Sometimes, looking good in what you’re wearing is more important than any brand name, or specific fabrics or anything like that. At least I think so. Looking good, both with and without clothing will help my confidence which will help in my quest to be a better employee.
My personal life, overall, is good. Although I know I need to start getting better at being a fiancee and eventually a husband for Tasha. I also need to be a better housekeeper. If the place I live is clean and in order, things become easier to find and that would lead to fewer arguments and hurt feelings over missing items throughout the house. I also need to emote more effectively and use what are construed as negative feelings and emotions more efficiently. I have a tendency to clean when I get upset. While that could lead to a really clean house if I don’t change things on a professional level, it won’t make things any better at home. I need to learn to clean when I’m feeling good. In theory, if I clean while in a good mood, then the newly cleaned area of my home will give me an additional sense of accomplishment and build on the good feelings I had to begin with. It’s something that may work for me, and I think it’ll be something that I will have to explore when Tasha and I get into our new place. Communication is something else I need to work on. I’m not saying a whole lot about what is happening in my life to Tasha, or anyone else really, and that is making our relationship weaker than it really should be. If I can get on a better mood line, maybe some of my other issues at home (that I probably won’t discuss here at any point) will take care of themselves, either that or it’s something inside me that isn’t related to my emotional state.
I haven’t been as specific with my goals here as I’d really like. Mostly because I’m working on specifics when I have a free moment or two at work. Maybe then, I’ll post those goals as a page here on my blog site. Something public so I can remind myself of what I need to do to get where I want to go. There is no song of the day today, I’m not sure if I will be continuing that here in the blog in the future, but we’ll see. Regardless, I hope every one reading this entry has an awesome evening and may the week see you with all the joy your heart and soul can handle.